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Forgive me if I don​´​t come home to sleep tonight

by Ainara LeGardon

/
1.
Weightless 04:23
WEIGHTLESS That job that I took was killing me from the first day, since I was not prepared to deal with other people´s dreams sold in cages. With other people´s dreams. That friend that I lost ended up being one amongst the others. That friend that I lost ended up being one, just one amongst the others. Years in my back, they are not weightless anymore. I need my head back, sleep a night and step forward weightless. I used to feel so courageous. Years ago I was so brave. That was before I caved in. Time ago I felt so safe. Fear in my eyes, it is not weightless anymore. I need my guts back to pull the trigger and step forward weightless. Years in my back, they are not weightless anymore. I need my head back, sleep a night and wake up weightless.
2.
Sickness 04:46
SICKNESS You never held me as tight as I hold you. You, sickness of all men. You never grabbed me as tight as I grab you. You, secret of all men in all seasons and lands of all continents. In all times and lands of all continents. He wrote some words to friends and family, gave all the numbers just in case. He talked about people he loved, ignored the secret of all men. You never held him as tight as he holds you. You, sickness of all men. You never held him as tight as he holds you. You, secret of all men in all ages and lands of all continents. In all seasons and lands of all continents.
3.
THE DEATH MOST DESIRED I would turn my head back looking for something, then you´d make ours the death most desired. Don´t hold me tighter, you know it´s alright. Don´t ask questions, please, it´s alright. But forgive me if I don´t come home to sleep tonight. I found her keys in the pocket of a coat I haven´t worn since we were in New York. Tell her she can come visit me anytime, anytime.
4.
YOUR OWN DIRT You´ve found your place among rattlesnakes, feeding on your own dirt. You live your hell, all my names misspelled, all chasing daughters around the corner. She´s so peaceful, she´s so calm, so free, so true, so… She´s so peaceful, she´s so calm, she never skipped a year.
5.
The third 04:15
THE THIRD Look, there´s a third. I haven´t talked about him to anyone else. He loves me like no other. He would give his life away, he would go.
6.
THE MORNING OF THE EARTHQUAKE She called the morning of the earthquake and found me burning in a nightmare. She´ll never know how much I´ll miss her. She´d bought a graveyard on her own. “Don´t let me die before him”. “Be sure I won´t”. And I made my friends promise they would help. She´ll never know how much I´ll miss her.
7.
I WON´T FORGET I´ve got some friends up in the North, they treat me kind. They teach me how to speak their language, they are so patient with me. I´ve got some friends in foreign countries, they understand when I can´t keep in touch. I´ve got some friends there in the East, they heal my heart. They always say they are my family and I know I can count on them if I ever need a band. I won´t forget that you took care of me when I was in need of help. I haven´t talked to one of my best friends since we argued about nonsense. I love you still. I cried and you attended, lied and you forgave me, committed mistakes and you defended me above everything. When pain was killing me you crossed that weird town at night for a relief. I could barely move my hands, you fed me. Won´t you believe I won´t forget that you took care of me when I was in need of help?
8.
Knowing 03:17
KNOWING You didn´t know I was born in the North. I didn´t know to whom your songs belong. You didn´t know where my life went wrong. It could´ve been a perfect start without the pressure of knowing. You didn´t know I had someone. I didn´t know you were someone. It could´ve been a perfect start without the pressure of knowing.
9.
STAINED SOUNDS Beware of springtime, each year we fall into a lie. Perfect time for cheating, wrong time for asking why. And my sleep will never come. And my heart will never rest. Car crash, stained sounds in my head bounce.

about

Ainara has always been the most intimate of artists. Listening to her music you feel like you are there with her in the room, listening to private conversations, conversations which even at their most angry retain a warm honesty and a glowing humanness. Her new album "forgive me....." raises the intimacy bar significantly. Not a single gesture is wasted. It is not always a smooth journey, but it is a deep one. She puts you THERE. That shaded, thorny place that we all know and often rightfully fear. But her songs are a brave, compassionate and elucidating guide and in the end we can only be thankful for her courage.

---Chris Eckman/Ljubljana/Nov. 2009


Ainara siempre ha sido la más íntima de los artistas. Escuchando su música sientes que estás allí, con ella en la habitación, escuchando conversaciones privadas, conversaciones que incluso en sus puntos de mayor rabia conservan una cálida honestidad y una ardiente humanidad. Su nuevo disco “Forgive me…” eleva la barrera de la intimidad de manera significativa. No sobra ni un solo gesto. No siempre es un viaje tranquilo, pero es profundo. Ainara te lleva ALLÍ. A aquel lugar sombrío y espinoso que todos conocemos y al que a menudo, y con razón, tememos. Pero sus canciones son una guía valiente, misericordiosa y aclaratoria. Al final sólo podemos sentirnos agradecidos por su valentía.

---Chris Eckman/Ljubljana/Nov. 2009

credits

released November 13, 2009

All songs by Ainara LeGardon.

Recorded at Hambre y Ganas and Moby Dick Club (Madrid, Spain), in July 2008 and July 2009.

Produced by Paco Jiménez and Ainara LeGardon.

Mixed and mastered by Paco Jiménez at Hambre y Ganas.

Artwork by Rafael Jaramillo.

license

all rights reserved

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